Scheduling

I missed my train today. I thought it left an hour later than it did. Amtrak charged me $50 to change my ticket so I can leave tomorrow instead. Luckily, my hosts don't mind having me around for another night. It's good to know that my presence isn't odious, although it is awkward to me.

Mostly I feel like an idiot. What kind of stupid jerk doesn't double-check the ticket? I guess the largest effect it has on me is the loss of $50 and the wasted drive to the station. I should be grateful that I'm in a position where $50 doesn't break the bank. I don't even need to get back to work right away.

// frumbert (Flickr) //

In fact, I am too depressed and slothful to face the idea of working, so I'm just going to loll about, nursing my frustration and reading past issues of The Sun. No, it's not a great coping technique. Sometimes when I'm slumped in the dumps, my mom asks what I've learned in therapy that I could use to comfort myself. I mumble, "I don't know." I can't rouse the energy to do the things that are supposed to fix me.

I hate making mistakes. I hate disrupted plans. I hate rearranging my sense of how things will go.