According to the Dalai Lama XIV, "Happiness
is not something ready-made. It comes from your own actions." I try to apply that philosophy to my online interactions.
I used to argue with people on the internet all the time. I'd get in these heated exchanges on Tumblr about social justice issues. Many an impassioned rant was typed! But it was worthless. All my carefully-phrased reasoning never changed anyone's mind, and the whole thing made me feel awful. Every time, I would get super frustrated and angry. My head would throb with adrenaline, and I wouldn't be able to calm down completely for hours. I still think about some of those arguments, about the vicious things that I said to people, which I now so regret.
Stress is what happens when your body gets locked into survival mode without a life-or-death reason. All those pounding hormones, though they might save you in a physical fight, are no good when you're just sitting at home with your laptop, wanting to cry because of misogynists on the internet. Eventually, I realized that I was choosing to engage with that negative energy. It's not like I had some duty to yell at people online--it was a wholly recreational thing. Why pursue a hobby if it makes you miserable, right?
These days, I make a conscious effort to step back and not join those conversations in the first place. It's hard. People keep saying things I disagree with, and I just itch to jump in and correct them. But it's worth the effort to refrain from engaging!
I totally get what you mean. I avoid confrontation in general and am cautious about people's feelings and how they will react to my messages. But the few times I have lost my temper, I was so heated and couldn't calm down for a while, like you said.
ReplyDeleteI've learned also to avoid negativity. It's not I'm avoiding any opportunity to speak my mind. There are just some people that will most likely not listen and aren't worth my time or stress.