Well... I'm a little afraid. I want people to take me seriously when it's time to be serious. But I'm not so worried that I won't post a cutesy selfie! Anyway, I resent that enthusiasm about "girly" things is seen as antithetical to intellectual depth. That notion is straight-up misogynistic. Femininity is an important part of my identity; I have strong emotions about it. It's not "just" an aesthetic. But even if it were, denigrating aesthetics as "shallow"--or whatever it is that people think--reflects a terribly simplistic view of the world. I'm pretty sure that constitutes irony!
I am a big believer in vanity as self care. I wear bright makeup, take a lot of selfies, and try to otherwise perform the idea that I am super into myself. I hope that if I make enough fuss about how cool I am, I will start to believe it!
It took a while for me to even accept that I have self-esteem issues. For a long time I felt like I had a pretty healthy ego. But after getting some feedback from my mother, I started to examine my behavior, especially in romantic relationships, and I noticed that my actions indicated that I didn't think I was worth much. Recently, in therapy, I've been working on the idea that I am valuable and deserving of love and attention. I am starting to feel comfortable with the idea that I am valuable, but I grapple with the concept of deserving anything. It seems so weird to me--I mean, what makes anyone entitled to anything?
Femininity is a beautiful part of the woman's gender identity. There is nothing wrong with enjoying your social construct. If it helps you feel better about yourself, go for it.
ReplyDeleteI agree with the first paragraph. The second one is comforting to me because I like makeup, and that pretty much explained a big reason I put it on! It's nice to hear a new perspective in the favor of makeup/vanity. I read plenty on Tumblr and such, but I never heard of "vanity as self care." Idk, I struggled with thinking it was too egotistical for a while. But like you said, it's pretty stupid to generalize all aesthetics as shallow. So I won't feel guilty for using it. :)
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