Sunday, December 29, 2013

Beginning Another History

A couple days ago, my estranged best friend reached out to me on Facebook. It's probably been about a year since we last talked. Her message basically said that she still loves me and wants to reconnect. Immediately after reading it, I burst into tears--the kind that are commonly described as "ugly sobbing". My sudden, intense reaction was a surprise. But the morning was weird even before that: I woke up an hour early, soaked in sweat and coming out of hectic dreams.

Anyway, today I'm going to see her, which is a nerve-wracking prospect. This is someone who I've treated really badly in the past--mostly due to mental illness, but that doesn't excuse it--and she's somehow always forgiven me. This girl is such an incredibly kind and understanding person.

I am looking forward to the meeting, because I missed her more than I realized, but I'm also apprehensive. We haven't seen each other in so long, and there are all these difficult emotions wrapped up in the situation. But I'm armed with pretty perfume, sparkly cream-colored nails, and a yellow bow that I made last night. Those things will help me deal.

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