Are the flowers sick? Is this an affliction? The effect is visually striking.
You can be sick and still pretty. You can be sick and very pretty. You can be sick in such a way that "pretty" is what keeps you standing up.
"Ain't got no doctor or pill that can take the pain away. The pain's inside and nobody frees you from your body." Quote from "Pretty Hurts" by Beyonce. (Also here's the music video.)
I don't know why this resonates with me so much right now. I'm in a decent place with my self-image, as well as with my mood. I think I look good, generally speaking, and I feel good. Yes, generally speaking.
I was at X's place on Friday and he mentioned offhand that I wasn't wearing makeup. His comment didn't sound critical, but I felt disconcerted nonetheless. "Best I Ever Had" was playing. When Drake sang the line, "Sweatpants, hair tie, chillin' with no makeup on," X nodded at me and said something. I don't remember the exact words. Obviously I was wearing sweatpants and no makeup. Chillin'--we were both working on our laptops.
Most of the time I pretend to myself that X doesn't notice whether I'm wearing makeup. Of course, he does: he looks at my face and naturally it's easy to tell. I'm too chicken to ask him if he still thinks I'm cute without makeup. I know he'd say yes, but I also know that he'd be honest. I wouldn't put it past him to say, "Yes, but..." X is the definition of honest to a fault.
I guess I do know why this resonates with me.
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