Monday, June 9, 2014

Rescheduling Anxiety

Football blues


Today in therapy we talked about the idea of deferring worry. Here's what you do: Consider whether the thing you're obsessing about is necessary to pay attention to right now. If it is, then go ahead and take action to lessen your stress. But if it's not, then tell yourself, "I'll think about this issue later. Right now I'm gonna focus on washing the breakfast dishes," or whatever is the task at hand. Schedule a worry session for later. Say to yourself, "If I still feel like I need to deal with this when 6pm rolls around, then I'll take ten minutes to think about it." Put a note on your calendar, or set your phone to remind you. When more worries pop up, you can add them to the list, and firmly let them know that they'll have to wait for your attention. Hopefully, by allotting a specific time for fretting, you can keep the nervous tension out of the rest of your day.

I'm sure this technique won't work for everyone, because nothing works for everyone. But it provides an attitudinal tweak that really helps me, personally.

Another stress-reducing perspective-shift is the reminder that other people are not your responsibility. (Unless you have kids.) For example, at the moment my mom is trying to configure her new computer, and the process is apparently very frustrating. I feel an urge to go comfort her, or to make her approach the problem in a different way. I dunno. But what I do know is that 1) she doesn't want my help and 2) it's not my role to change how she does things. My job is to take care of myself. I must accept that other people are beyond my control.

I hope that this post doesn't seem sanctimonious or inappropriately instructional--I'm writing to myself as much as I am to any internet wanderer who happens to be reading here.

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