Universally Declared Human Rights

By whom or on what authority, I know not. Which is somewhat disturbing--I feel like this is something with which I should be familiar! Despite lacking prior education, I got 77% percent on a quiz, which I encountered on Holly Jahangiri's blog. I think that means that the Universal Declaration of Human Rights encases a pretty natural set of imperatives, although my argument has always been that no "rights" are truly intrinsic, but rather bestowed by a compassionate society... Irregardless--and I use that semi-word ironically--the quiz is worth perusing:

Universal Declaration of Human Rights (UDHR)

77% (10 out of 13 Questions Correct)

Facebook quizzes & Blog quizzes by

Coffee & Robin Eggs

Dark Pink Ruffles

I took the above photo in my neighbor's garden yesterday. Today I am moody and blah. Luckily the roses are pretty no matter how I feel.

Kin Unkind

"Fine" is all the text said, and that terse reply summed up everything. Frustration, anger, and probably a fair amount of hurt.

I laid in bed pondering that for a while. Frustration, anger, and hurt were running through my own mind. Fiercely, I thought, "You can't ignore me for a year and then expect everything to be hunky dory."

But you also can't tell someone that you've been lying to them for months and think they'll be okay with it, because mental illness is not a get-out-of-jail free card. Maybe I should have known that she would cut me off. And so I have to tell myself, once again: Stop using your issues as an excuse to treat people badly.

Context: My cousin texted me a few days ago, asking if I wanted to hang out. There was a bit of back-and-forth, crossed wires, and I hemmed and hawed, but eventually I was straightforward: "I don't want to deal with this."

I can't decide if that was cowardice or "speaking my truth". Or both.

What would I tell myself if I were an advice columnist? What would Mother Mary do?

1) Move on. Clearly you don't want that relationship. 2) Forgive. Apologize. Reconnect.

I'm not a "big enough person" to pursue #2.

Oranges

These photos feel like summer.

Cliche Mirror Selfie

It's odd to see how the camera captures the specks of dust on its own surface.

Comparisons

My boss uses a service called BlogMutt to get content for his website. I have to remember to adjust my expectations when reviewing the posts that they supply. The rate is $16 per article, and the writer gets $8 of that. It's not realistic to insist on a high-level creative product for roughly minimum wage.

Somehow this feels connected to my mental health journey, perhaps in the sense that I also have to manage my expectations for myself. I only have so much energy, and it's not healthy to insist that I build the Taj Mahal everyday with my limited personal resources. (That's hyperbole, but you know what I mean.)

I have a very all-or-nothing attitude toward accomplishments. The way I think is that either I'm top of the class, or I'm nothing. In therapy I've been working on learning a different way to understand my own achievements. I want to regard myself and my work as innately valuable, rather than only worthwhile based on where they fall in a hierarchy.