About two weeks ago, I wrote this in my journal:
"It will be okay. You are okay. You will be okay. You can exist in and move towards multiple states of okay. You can handle what you can handle. You won't find out until you tackle things. It is okay to be scared and shaky. You can manage. You can cope.
It will be okay. You are okay. You will be okay. It will be okay. You are okay. You will be okay.
Hail Mary, full of grace..."
Right now, I am having a hard time believing any of it. I feel so on edge. I just said the full Hail Mary to myself, and it did make me feel a teeny bit calmer. But only a teeny bit.
Maybe some days are just anxious, or maybe I had too much caffeine this morning.
I've just spent hours pouring over my fashion blog and Tumblr, trying to get them to feel right. Things keep niggling my aesthetic sense, and then I have to fix them. But even after I've fixed everything I noticed, I can't stop worrying. Presumably there are flaws that I didn't even see, and they need to be remedied! Ugh. It makes me feel out of control.
I need to work on being okay with being just that: okay. I don't have to be perfect. I am lovable and valuable even if I'm not perfect; not trying to be perfect. I am good enough the way I am.
Maybe some days are just anxious, or maybe I had too much caffeine this morning.
I've just spent hours pouring over my fashion blog and Tumblr, trying to get them to feel right. Things keep niggling my aesthetic sense, and then I have to fix them. But even after I've fixed everything I noticed, I can't stop worrying. Presumably there are flaws that I didn't even see, and they need to be remedied! Ugh. It makes me feel out of control.
I need to work on being okay with being just that: okay. I don't have to be perfect. I am lovable and valuable even if I'm not perfect; not trying to be perfect. I am good enough the way I am.
No comments :
Post a Comment