Fashionably Late

[I posted this on my fashion blog a month or so ago, but I've since deleted the post. Now it will be here instead.]

I'm still coming to terms with the idea of dressing for myself. I've spent basically my whole life dressing as a performance, trying to appeal to boys and "accentuate my body" or whatever. Because that's what girls are trained to do. Now, at nineteen, I'm finally selecting my clothes and outfits with my own aesthetic pleasure in mind. I want to dress in a way that makes me feel good! It's actually kinda hard to figure out what that looks like.

It used to be that I would follow a bunch of societal style rules in order to try and look "sexy". Often, my own natural homeyness would come through, and I would feel like I had failed. Now that I want to express my own taste, it's strangely difficult. I find myself second-guessing what I like. Maybe it's because I'm still trying to dress for other people--but instead of men, now I have other women in mind. I'll look in the mirror and wonder if I look fashionable, like, "Is this actually cute, or am I just fooling myself into thinking that?" I guess I have to learn to let go and trust my intuition completely. If I like it, then it must be cool, right? Because I like it, and I am cool! (Ha. Haha. Hahaha.)