Everything is going well. Everything is going perfect, really. I have a job that I like. Every "creature comfort" that a person could want. But I'm still not happy. Somehow I'm still... wrong.
Maybe I just feel like this because one of the bunnies bit me really hard and deep, so my right hand is messed up and I'm upset.
Some positives of life:
- I have a nice crocheted cardigan that my mom gave me.
- My dad will always have a silly conversation with me.
- Two of the bunnies do like each other and they coexist just fine.
- There's lots of nice tea in the house.
- I have blankets/quilts on my bed that my mom made.
- My therapist is gonna be proud of me for getting a job.
- I've been keeping up with my sonnets project.
In fact, last night's sonnet was a soppy one about my ex. All of a sudden I've started really missing him. I miss waking up at his apartment and making coffee and snuggling.
Life is so hard. I have the easiest life, objectively speaking, but it's so, so hard.
I've been on Skype all day because I want to talk to Ben, but he isn't messaging me. I don't know why I have to be so passive and play games... I guess I feel like he won't like me if he's sure that I like him. Because that's how I often feel about people... I don't know why he has to live all the way in St. Louis. I just want to meet his dog and hang out and watch TV. Nice stuff like that.
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