Aging

Today I accidentally slept in for a couple of hours. My alarm went off at eight, but I didn't lurch through the living room until ten. I felt disoriented when I got up, and a little anxious. A bit later I had a video call with my boss. Those things aren't necessarily bad, but I don't like disruptions to my routine. My favorite days are the regular ones without any surprises.

Having several personal projects can make a person busy. I always feel shocked when it's 8:30 and I'm only just finishing up my work. I want more time, to do creative things like sewing and collage, and then I can force myself to write. It's a trite complaint that there are not enough hours, and even if the amount were doubled, we'd still squander the supply in the same way.

I don't particularly worry about getting old. I'm currently too young for such a concern to be anything but abstract. X bemoans the hair that isn't on his head and the creases in his face. There's a prickly softness to all of him except his scalp. I like to push my fingers through his beard. The hairs are silky but have coarse ends. He's not as nuzzle-prone as I am, but sometimes he presses his cheek to my skin and makes me giggle.