Thursday, October 10, 2013

None Of Your Business

Today I had my tonsils taken out. So far, recovering from the surgery has been about as fun as you'd expect, but at least this will (hopefully) put an end to the recurring bouts of tonsillitis that have been plaguing me since July.

The nurse who got me fitted out for surgery, with the gown and the IV and everything--she seemed like a nice lady, but she said some really offensive stuff to me. It started when she asked if I took any medication regularly, and I told her about Effexor. She inquired what it was for, and I answered honestly: "Depression." And then she went into a spiel about how lots of teenagers have a hard time, and was I sure that I was depressed, and how did I know... Is there even a good way to react to that? I found myself saying, "Oh, you just know." That was all I could muster. My thoughts were along the lines of, "None of your business! You have no idea what my experiences are! Shut up." But that's not the kind of thing I can say, especially not to someone who's clearly just ignorant, not malicious.

Regardless of her intent, it was very hurtful and invalidating. I have a hard enough time taking my illness seriously, being kind to myself, and caring for myself--I don't need to be told that all kids go through this. Who knows, maybe it's true. But if everybody experiences this, why am I coping so much worse?

And why do I still think of this nurse as a nice lady? She asked me some very personal questions that were obviously outside of the scope of her medical jurisdiction. Why did I feel obligated to be polite and deferential to someone who was so rude to me?

No comments :

Post a Comment